Washing My Dog

Humor is often found in the smallest situations. I found it today in trying to wash a 12 year old, long-haired German Shepard who did not want a bath. Below are tips I find to be helpful:

Step One: Get hot dog out of fridge, stuff with anti anxiety pill and dangle in front of dog.
Step Two: After dog has eaten hot dog but spat out pill, get new pill and cram down the dogs throat with pill jammer. Repeat as necessary.
Step Three: Go outside and set up tub, hose and shampoo with plenty of towels.
Step Four: Drag dog out from under bed.
Step Five: After the dog has broken free and evaded you again, drag out from underneath kitchen table.
Step Six: Get help.
Step Seven: Pick up dog and carry outside, place dog in tub.
Step Eight: Retrieve dog from under BBQ and try Step Seven again. Repeat as needed.
Step Nine: Soap up and scrub down dog, rinse when done.
Step Ten: If it is now raining, drag dog in to the garage and get new towels to towel dog off. Let the dog inside the house when done.

If you’re like me, you’re soaked and in need of a shower. I recommend a shot of tequila while your in there, it’s five o’clock somewhere.


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